i just had sex bonerless
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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