yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
