So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
