My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
