Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
