is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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