I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
