please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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