So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
