Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
