If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
