i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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