I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
