Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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