Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
