Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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