her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
