i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
