he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
