Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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