I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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