You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
