We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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