I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
