i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
