Nicole vs. Life
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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