He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
