would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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