I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
