Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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