He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
