This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
