the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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