Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
