words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
