so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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