Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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