Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
