just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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