when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
