I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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