she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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