I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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