hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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