i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
