So drunk its hurt
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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