Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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