Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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