This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
