those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
