He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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