your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
