Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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